Pretending To Be Someone Else

I never knew how to be myself. I never took the time to develop a personality, see what I like or dislike, what hobbies am I good at, or have a mind of my own. For that, I suffered a great amount. I came from being different is bad, you gotta be the same as everyone else, and if we find something that’s different about you, we will ridicule you until you become like us. For that, I decided to do that. I looked up to gangstas, rappers, players, pimps, or drug dealers because of the environment I grew in. It’ll make me cool I be like them, but what I didn’t know is I’m becoming a mindless follower. Although, it was good because people wanted to hang with you, be like you,or even fuck you, but at what cost? They just like the illusion I bring, not what’s inside my heart. I wasn’t happy for a long time because this isn’t really me, so I gave all that shit that was programmed in my mind, and started asking the question that I’ve should have done in a very long time: Who are you? It isn’t easy because I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but on the bright side is I’m happier. All the people that was suppose to be down for me, ain’t here now. The important thing is I starting to know more about myself and that’s all that matters.